


Worth It

by zzzzzzzo



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Post-Sburb/Sgrub, this is very tame though no worries, very vague mention of the hanky panky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-10
Updated: 2014-10-10
Packaged: 2018-02-20 16:19:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2435189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zzzzzzzo/pseuds/zzzzzzzo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And for the longest time, if someone asked if you’d rather go back to before, to a time where you never played it, and lived out your life without that experience, you would’ve said yes in a heartbeat.<br/>But… Karkat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Worth It

**Author's Note:**

> A short drabble I wrote during school. Thanks Cee and Alex for looking it over! I hope you guys all like this, cause I sure do ^^

 

 Warmth. All encompassing and pure and surrounding you, locking you into a secure burrow. The comfort of it makes your mind hazy, not thinking so much as feeling. You relax in the sensation, curl into it and welcome the void where thought should be. Goodness knows you could use a break from thinking after all this.

You remember when it used to be like this often. Never quite as warm back then. There was a time, though, where you could curl up with a movie or a line of code and relax, forget whatever stress may have been nagging you and give in to it.

Then the game happened.

The game happened, and peace became a privilege rather than a given. The game happened, and dark circles formed under your eyes, and while you gained some muscle definition your cheeks still hollowed, your resolve stiffened, and trust in others became a feat.

But you’ve managed, you’ve won. You even got the lovely prize of a new, just as flawed universe and a ton of PTSD to top it all off. Fun.

And for the longest time, if someone asked if you’d rather go back to before, to a time where you never played it, and lived out your life without that experience, you would’ve said yes in a heartbeat.

But… Karkat.

Karkat, the wall of gray caps lock that revealed himself to be a short troll in oversized clothing. Karkat, whose weary slouch and dark circles seemed like a custom to him rather than something acquired. Karkat, whose rants are much less funny when you can hear the self hatred ringing behind his words, when the rambunctious rage trails to a miserable and hollow hopelessness. Karkat, who, just like the rest of you, is ultimately just another scared kid who played a game and lost everything.

Karkat who needed someone as much as you did.

You watched your friends drift. You were all still incredibly close, of course. You don’t think anything can break your bond after all that’s happened. But… you weren’t anyone’s _first._ Not someone’s go-to. And with them being busy with helping their main priority, Dave and Terezi, Rose and Kanaya, Jade and Davesprite, you didn’t feel you could go to them for help with good conscience. They’d let you, of course. They care about you, they’d want to help. But you?

You didn’t want to be a burden.

Karkat, though… Karkat who sat off separate from the rest. Karkat, who curled in on himself and hugged his knees to his chest, like he was desperate to be held. Lonely, broken Karkat, who knew as you did the heavy weight of being responsible for the lives of all the others, even if they didn’t believe it was on your shoulders. Karkat, who was also a leader. Karkat, who still thought he failed.

Karkat, who, while stubborn, fell so easily into your arms when you offered them.

A warm, short bundle who shook so much more delicately than his bold front would imply, and fit perfectly.

Karkat, who you never wanted to let go.

Karkat, who you soon realized you couldn’t bear to lose. Karkat, who at some point in your relationship of friendship and comfort, you began to love. Karkat, who froze only for a second when you kissed him before giving himself to the feeling, relaxing and melting into you and nuzzling close close close, as if this was meant to be. A given thing the both of you were used to at that point, rather than your first kiss.

You never really confirmed you two were dating aloud. It just seemed unnecessary. You just kept at it, your usual hangouts and cuddles only with a little more kissing, and… later on, more than kissing. Now _that_ had been awkward the first time. It would have been bad enough, both of you fumbling, unsure what to grab or where to put everything, even without you being different species'. Still, with a lot of blushing and not making eye contact, you figured something out. All the discomfort of foreplay was more than worth it for that moment when Karkat gasped, and when his eyes fluttered shut. When he breathed the word _oh_ , and relaxed against you, and squeezed you a little tighter. Close and warm and good, over quickly but you both were smiling after, a little embarrassed but a little not too.

Karkat, just. He’s worth everything to you, you guess.

The leg cramps and blushing were worth the new closeness you shared.

Letting him pick the movie tonight is worth having him curled against your side now, warm and slumped and asleep.

The pain and loss of the game were more than worth falling in love with him.

 


End file.
